


your days are gonna be the days you're gonna have

by cinabrese



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: "we got drunk and did something stupid but don't worry I got us out" au, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Gen, are they all human or still their dnd races we'll never know, molly is brilliant and fjord and caleb are tired
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-07
Updated: 2018-02-07
Packaged: 2019-03-14 22:35:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13599858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cinabrese/pseuds/cinabrese
Summary: In their defense, they were left unsupervised.





	your days are gonna be the days you're gonna have

**Author's Note:**

> just a short little thing to get back into writing and get a feel for these characters, even though i don't really feel..like i...did that......

To be fair, Mollymauk never  _ intends  _ for things to work out like they do.

It’s not like he enjoys getting into trouble everywhere they go. He doesn’t. He  _ doesn’t _ . He just wants to have a good time with his friends, and if that involves getting rip-roaringly drunk, leaving the bar in a fit of boisterous laughter, heading to the park and deciding a dip in the water fountain would be the perfect way to end the night, well, it was a good idea at the time. And if they happened to attract the attention of the police, well, your days are gonna be the days you’re gonna have. 

Not that Mollymauk wanted his day to be this. 

The officer called to take care of the ruckus in the park merely sighs as he stares down at the five of them. Mollymauk lies on his back in the water, staring up at the night sky. He hears the sound of water sloshing, and that must be Yasha. The officer sighs again, heavier this time, and mutters something into his walkie-talkie. 

“What are you doing?” the officer asks when he finally addresses them. 

Mollymauk opens his mouth to speak and, too late, realizes that his already thin filter has all but dissipated. “Contemplating if we want to go streaking after this, or maybe vandalize that statue over there, and I think someone took a piss in the fountain,” he says. It’s not true. There’s no way Mollymauk would be lying in the water if he had the tiniest thought someone had peed. Isn’t it obvious what they’re doing? But, Mollymauk realizes belatedly, the officer has no idea that he’s -- attempting, at least -- to be sarcastic. 

The officer turns red after Mollymauk finishes speaking, and motions for them -- only four now -- to stand up. Jester whines. “Oh, please, don’t,” she says. “Really, we just got in the fountain because we wanted to-”

She’s cut off with a glare from the officer. Somehow managing to look meek and simultaneously give him the stink eye, she huffs and stands up, pulling Nott with her, who looks increasingly nervous the longer the officer is present. Mollymauk stands with all the grace and flourish he can muster, and feels smug when he hears Beauregard swear and fall with a splash as she slips. 

“All right,” the officer says. “What are your names?”

“Shirley,” Jester says immediately. The officer gives her a disbelieving look, but takes note.

“Temple,” Nott adds, and now the officer looks skyward, muttering something incomprehensible. 

“Come on,” he says, not bothering anymore. “Get in.”

“Do you at least have any towels we could use? It’s going to be a bit uncomfortable with wet clothes,” Mollymauk asks as they climb into the police SUV. 

The officer says nothing as he gets behind the wheel, looks Mollymauk in the eyes through the rearview mirror, and cranks the AC up.

“Mary! Darling, is it good to see you,” Mollymauk exclaims with a grin when he spots their wayward friend sitting in the holding cell they’re lead to.

“This is the one that tried to run away,” the officer who brought Yasha in tells the officer in charge of the rest of them. 

“I have a little bit of a problem with authority,” Yasha mutters, like the officers care. “I didn’t want to be in this cell, and that ended up happening anyway.”

“How long have you been in here?” Jester asks. Nott sits opposite Yasha, as far away as she can get.

Yasha is silent for a moment, then sighs. “Immediately after I ran away.”

There’s a beat of silence, and then everyone in the cell, even Nott, is doubled over laughing. Yasha rolls her eyes at them, petulant. 

“All right,” the original officer begins as he makes his way over to them. “You each get one phone call. You first.” He points at Mollymauk.

Mollymauk stands, wrinkling his nose as his damp clothes cling to him. “Call Fjord,” Jester suggests. “Caleb probably hasn’t showered today and won’t make a good impression.” She makes a face and waves her hand in front of her nose.

Grinning as he leaves the cell, Mollymauk says, “I know exactly who to call.”

* * *

 

“One night,” Fjord says when he greets them at the door. “We just wanted _ one night _ \-- we left you alone for  _ six hours _ .”

None of them have the decency to look sheepish. Jester and Nott push their way inside first, excitedly reenacting the precinct’s reactions to Mollymauk’s stunt. 

Mollymauk grins as he practically saunters into their house. He pauses briefly to wave to the police officer who arrested them -- Flynn -- and stretches his arms as he walks into the living room. Caleb sits in an armchair, face in his hands, as Jester lifts Nott into the air as she poses like the statue on the fountain. Beau perches on the arm of the couch, next to where Yasha flops down and sprawls out, and Mollymauk resists the urge to knock her off. 

“Yes,” Mollymauk says, “you left us alone for six hours, and I, personally, think we did absolutely fantastic.”

“We did manage to get out of jail by ourselves,” Jester inputs. Mollymauk gestures at her, teeth bared in what passed as a grin. 

“See?” he says. “I rest my case.”

“You bought pizza for the entire station,” Caleb remarks, picking his head up and looking at Mollymauk with an exasperated expression. “And for some godforsaken reason they thought that was funny enough to let you go.” He flounders for a moment. “Why didn't you call one of us?”

“To be fair,” Nott pipes up. She’s taken up residence on the other arm of the couch; Jester sits next to her, upside down, the hem of her skirt falling up to her knees. “Molly’s way didn’t involve any fines or bail.”

Mollymauk’s grin grows wider and he turns to Caleb and pats his knee. “See? Everything worked out fine.”

“It was a pretty good idea,” Beauregard admits grudgingly. “And it  _ did  _ get us out of there.”

Fjord looks at Yasha from where he stands in the doorway. “Why didn’t you stop them? I thought you at least were a bit more sensible.”

Yasha shrugs. “I was hot. The fountain sounded like a good idea.”

“Yasha ran away from the cops!” Jester exclaims, flipping heels-over-head off the couch. “It was so cool! She did get caught, though.” She frowns and turns to Yasha. “You should work on that. You are not very good at running away.”

The corners of Yasha’s lips quirk up; practically an ear-to-ear smile from her. “I’ll keep that in mind for next time,” she promises.

“No,” Fjord interjects. “There will be no next time.”

“Does this mean you’re coming out with us next time!”

Fjord sighs again, but before he can respond the doorbell rings. 

“Now who could that be at this time of night?” he wonders aloud, and leaves the room. The rest of them glance at each other, and Caleb eyes all of them suspiciously.

“I have no idea who it is,” Jester declares, holding her hands up.

They’re spared their wondering when Fjord returns, holding two boxes of pizza. Everyone turns to Mollymauk in unison.

“A toast!” he cries, raising an imaginary glass in the air. “To not being in jail!”

**Author's Note:**

> (248): guess who got arrested for public drunkness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? the cop that arrested me drove me home. win.
> 
>  
> 
> note: i have never been tipsy in any way nor have i ever been arrested
> 
> is there implied widofjord? is it just them wanting a relaxing evening and not wanting to go out? is it both? i have no idea. i don't want to start shipping this early on but damn does ao3 make it hard. people write such cute stuff
> 
> i just wanted to hammer a quick little drabble for these guys! hopefully there will be more to come in the future
> 
> come yell with me on tumblr about this disaster group @knightingale-s


End file.
